The Man He Used To Be
by cockycute
Summary: Mindy reminds Jeremy of who he used to be-and who he wants to become again.


Dr. Jeremy Reed hadn't always been a womanizer. His womanizer friends didn't realize why he wanted to sleep with Mindy when he could have any other woman in the city. With his good looks, British accent, and doctor status, very few women could resist him. To these nay-sayers, he said that it was the thrill of the chase, that he liked to spice things up every once in awhile. This was true to a certain extent, but the real reason that he slept with Mindy was because he reminded her of his boyhood. Before his parents shipped him off to boarding school and he realized the value of keeping his emotions inside. Mindy's unflagging optimism reminded him of a time when he was similar. He wouldn't have given up his past for anything. It made him the man he is today, but every once in awhile. He got nostalgic and just wanted a taste of the boy he had been, and Mindy helped him get that. He wouldn't say that he was in love with her per se, but there was definitely something that she had that he liked, because it helped him remember who he used to be, and forget the monster that he had become.

Mindy smiled every time she thought about how she had snagged a hottie like Jeremy Reed. To think that he could have had anyone at the hospital- not to mention the world and he had picked her, giving her hope that she would find a perfect movie romance just like Meg Ryan. If only she could find the time. Damn hospital hours! She wished that she could take Dr. Reed into the on-call room like they did in Grey's Anatomy and give him some of her sweet, sweet lovin'. Unfortunately, that type of thing only happened on her favorite TV show. On second thought, maybe not. Mindy walked over to Dr. Reed. "Um, Dr. Reed, I need you to uh, to um, _consult_ on one of my patients."  
"Sure." Mindy walked over to the on-call room with Jeremy close behind her. When he saw where they were, he looked confused. "I thought that you needed me to consult."  
"Oh, silly Jeremy, don't you watch Grey's Anatomy?" Mindy shoved him down on the lower bunk bed and ripped off his shirt. He looked shocked, but pleased. Then he kissed her like he was an alcoholic and she was the last drink that he would ever get.  
They made it a quickie, because they were doctors and they had to get back to work. Jeremy was liking Mindy more and more by the second, she was full of surprises, and she might be just what he needed to find his way back to the man he had been and wanted to be again. But he wasn't in love with her. He reminded himself. No, he really liked her, but he wasn't _in love_ with her. He told himself this over and over again, but he was finding it harder and harder to convince himself. After all, she was funny and smart, but most importantly she was one of the only things that he actually cared about. He just skated through life, not caring about anything or anyone except himself, but he cared about her. She made him feel alive, which was more than he could say about anyone else that he had ever known.

"What's wrong? You're not your usual insufferably smug self." Dr. Castellano's charming observation shook Jeremy out of his subconscious psyche-delving.

"Oh, I was just thinking about the sex with an attractive nurse that I just had."

"Wonderful to have you back, doctor Jackass."

"Oooo, touchy, did you strike out with Mandy again?"

"Her name is Mindy, and no, I haven't 'struck out', I just haven't made my move yet."

"Well, tell me how it goes when you do mate." Jeremy patted his shoulder and winked. He could practically see Danny fantasize about strangling him. He knew that he really shouldn't rub his seductive superiority in Danny's face, but he really needed to just lighten up and ask her out. Jeremy ignored the twinge of jealousy he felt when he thought about another man dating Mindy. He knew that she was just rebounding from her relationship with Tom. She wasn't trying to date Jeremy, she was just using him for his body and his lack of potential for emotional intimacy. He was just what she was using to transition from Tom to her next doomed relationship. What she needed was to learn how to relax, have fun, and learn that love only finds you when you don't go looking for it. What Jeremy needed was to learn that he was completely right about this, and that he was no exception.

"Omigod. He is so hot! And I'm not even in love with him or anything. I'm just using him for sex. Isn't that so Meredith Grey of me!" Mindy squealed to her friend Shauna, the capable New Jersian who knew a thing or two about no-strings-attached flings herself. "Are you sure? Because you seem to have a tendency to fall for guys hard and fast, and you are talking about him a lot."

"Of course not, he's totally not my type. He's more of a McSteamy than a McDreamy."

"Ah, so he's a doctor."

"What? No, I never said that." Mindy laughed nervously. "I have to go, I think my pager just went off." Mindy quickly ran away from Shauna as if she had something very important to do. As she walked by Jeremy she grabbed him by the collar of his lab coat and pulled him into the on call room.

"I'm not in love with you." She told him as she kissed him and pulled his clothes off.

"Of course not." He assured her, surprised at the disappointment he felt at hearing her vocalize what he already knew for a fact.

"I'm just using you to get over Tom."

"Of course." They finished quickly and went back to work. When they got off, Mindy intercepted him again and took him home with her. They had sex, but they also talked. Mindy was surprised at how open he was, and how much she actually enjoyed talking to him. She had thought that he was such a self absorbed snob, but he was actually really interesting. She learned about his boarding school years and how much they had hardened him. He told the stories with a self-deprecating sort of humor, but Mindy could see the pain in his eyes. He probably didn't realize how much of himself he was revealing to her, how much of the true Jeremy Reed that she could see hidden underneath his mask of charm and self-assurance. They told each other anecdotes about dates they'd been on, but once Mindy asked him about boarding school, his mask slammed back into place. He was still charming and fun, but it was disconcerting to talk to his persona after she had seen who his true self. She wished that she hadn't brought it up at all. She wanted to get back to the ease and closeness that they'd had before. This Jeremy persona was charming, but she wanted to talk to the real Jeremy Reed. She decided that she would make it her mission to get him to reveal himself to her again and break down the emotional walls that he had put up as a boy. She knew that it would be a hard job, but she was just the woman to do it. First, she would get him to be attracted to her. Well, she'd already done that. Then, she would get him to like her. Again, she'd already accomplished that. Then, she would get him to open up to her completely. That would be the tricky part, but she knew that she could accomplish it. After all, she'd seen almost every romance movie ever made. She knew what she was doing.

_It was so easy. Thought Jeremy. She had fallen for his vulnerability act hook, line and sinker. He wanted to prove to her that she kept falling for the wrong guys so he had concocted a plan to get her to try and change him, and then show her that he was actually the shallow jerk that she thought he had been all along, so he told her some sob stories about his boarding school. They had been based on the truth, but he had dramatized them so that he could tug on her heartstrings more. He had to prove to her that people weren't always who they seemed to be and that Danny was her best bet if she was looking for a guy who would treat her well and not leave her for another woman. Plus, this scheme had the added benefit of getting her to hate him so much when she found out who he truly was that she would never talk to him ever again, which would take care of the pesky little feelings that he was starting to have for her. He knew how her mind worked so his plan would be completely fool proof. Unless he fell for her in the process._

_"Why would you do this to me? I loved you!" Mindy cried after she found out about Jeremy's attempt to con her into falling in love with him just to show her that he was a jerk just like all of her other boyfriends._

_"I was just trying to show you that you keep falling for jerks who don't deserve you." Jeremy reached out to comfort her._

_"Don't touch me! You know what, screw you! You just wasted your one chance at happiness, so I hope you have fun trying to fill that loneliness inside of you with a string of one night stands! Oh, and by the way, congratulations. Your mask is completely intact. I don't know who you are any more than I did the day I met you, so excellent work. Your emotional wall is impenetrable."_

_"No it isn't Mindy. You got in! You broke through all of my defense mechanisms and found the real me. I love you Mindy. I fell hard and fast. You taught me how to live and you taught me how to love."_

_Mindy laughed bitterly. "Well, I've learned my lesson. I guess I'll build my walls up just as high as yours."_

_"No Mindy, don't. You're open and honest and optimistic and I don't want to be the one who takes that away from you." Jeremy grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. She pulled her arm away and briskly walked away from him, so Jeremy did what he had to do. He jumped up onto the receptionist's desk and shouted. "Excuse me! Could I have your attention everyone? Thank you. Now I am Dr. Jeremy Reed and I'm completely in love with this woman right here, Dr. Mindy Lahiri. She is the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent woman that I have ever met and she taught me that it's okay to open up to people. I don't know what I would do without her." Mindy smiled at him and he stepped down and kissed Mindy. _

_"Awwwww," Everybody clapped for them while the song _I Want You To Want Me_ played in the background._

Mindy woke up with a smile on her face. Even though the dream had started out being kind of depressing, the ending more than made up for it.

The dream worried her a little bit though. Did she really always date jerks? Is it possible that Jeremy is trying to trick her? Or, worst of all, is she losing her unflagging optimism and romanticism and becoming mean and cynical just like the rest of New York? No. She would not become like those other people. She would stay a romantic, and keep on searching for love. She looked over at Jeremy. He was so beautiful in his sleep. She loved watching her boyfriends sleep. It reminded her that no matter how much of themselves they kept hidden from her, no matter how distanced she felt from them, they were still vulnerable. It reminded her that she was seeing a side of them that they would never show her if they were conscious. Even though she knew it was creepy, it felt special to her, like something only she knew about. Watching Jeremy she realized that she shouldn't try to change him. If he really was falling in love with her, she would let him come to her. She wouldn't try to trick him into letting her know him before he was ready. She would let him choose to love her.

Jeremy opened his eyes. Mindy smiled at him and he smiled back. They kissed, and even though he didn't declare his love for her in some grand gesture or take her on some whirlwind romance, she was truly happy when she was with him. And, for the first time since before elementary school when his life had gotten so complicated, when he had grown up and learned to put up walls to keep everyone out. He realized that his walls also kept him in, and, even more shockingly, Jeremy realized that he was finally happy.


End file.
